Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to go to the bathroom.
- Law of Gravity
- Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
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- Law of Probability
- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
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- Law of Random Numbers
- If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
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- Law of the Alibi
- If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
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- Variation Law
- If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
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- Law of the Bath
- When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
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- Law of Close Encounters
- The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
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- Law of the Result
- When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
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- Law of Bio-Mechanics
- The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
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- Law of the Theater
- At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
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- The Starbucks Law
- As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
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- Murphy's Law of Lockers
- If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
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- Law of Physical Surfaces
- The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
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- Law of Logical Argument
- Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
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- Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
- If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
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- Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
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- Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
- As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
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- Doctors' Law
- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
- --- source unknown
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